You’re not who you think you are.
Statistically speaking, 85% of people will never escape the version of themselves they’ve unknowingly built.
The result of this looks like trapping yourself in a life you’re okay with living. It doesn’t hurt enough to change but you’re also unsatisfied. You’ve tried brute forcing your way into committing to new goals and new habits but end up procrastinating and hating yourself. And this cycle of stagnation has repeated your entire life.
To make things worse, you’re unaware of the long term effects of leaving this unchecked. Stacking receipts of failures and lies is unconsciously molding your mind into thinking that you are incapable of true change.
“Maybe I’m not meant for success?”
“Maybe I’ll just never be good enough to change.”
Until this day, I still have these thoughts. The only difference is, I don’t let my thoughts define who I am or what actions I take. My goal today is to help you escape this never ending loop of progress and procrastination, creation and destruction. This is called stagnation.
Why You Feel “Stuck” in Life (And How to Break Free)
A 2024 Harvard Business Review study found that only 15% of people are truly self-aware. This means that 85% of the population live on autopilot. They live the same day with the same thoughts resulting with the same life, over and over again. The worst part is that they’re unaware of this.
I don’t doubt this statistic because of the way society is structured.
You were programmed without knowing it.
From the moment you were born, your identity was chosen for you.
- Your parents named you (Before you could even speak)
- School taught you how to behave (Follow the rules, listen to authority)
- Friends and family shaped your mindset (What’s deemed normal, acceptable, and “cool”)
- Social Media influenced your beliefs (You believe in who you follow, and content consumed)
Everything that you believe about yourself was installed into you like a software program installed into a computer’s hard drive without your permission.
Thanks to this programming, you were wired to follow and act accordingly.
- School trains you to listen to authority. (“Raise your hand to speak.” “Listen to the teacher.”)
- Your job trains you to be replaceable. (“Do your work. Don’t ask questions.”)
- Social media trains you to seek validation. (“Like, comment, share, fit in.”)
This is exactly why you feel stuck.
The Autopilot Programming of the 85%
Wake up. Social Media. Go to Work. Go home. Scroll again. Sleep. Repeat.
As you flood your brain with the lives of your friends, you repeat the same habits. As you compare yourself with other successful entrepreneurs, you tell yourself the same stories of “I’m not smart enough, I don’t know what to do, I don’t have time or money”.
Living the same cycle, hoping something will change is foolish because you’re stuck. Until you break the script of your unconscious programming from your current identity, nothing changes if nothing changes.
This is the harsh truth. You’re not stuck, you’re just addicted to your Identity.
- I’m not that type of person
- I’ve always been this way
- I don’t know where to start
You are not you.
You need to understand that you’re just a collection of experiences, beliefs, and habits reinforced through time. Your identity is just a program that was “fixed”. The best part about programs is that they can be looked at, broken down, and rewritten into something better.
Jake’s story (Why Most Stay Stuck)
Jake is one of my good friends that I’ve known for the past ten years. He recently went through a breakup. Now he’s feeling lost and spiraling into negative emotions.
“I feel like shit. What am I supposed to do now? Life feels empty.”
Like many of us that have gone through a breakup or a lost an important friend, Jake is completely consumed by his emotions. His identity screams “I’m the heartbreak guy”.
What he doesn’t realize is that his emotions and his thoughts aren’t really him. Do we define ourselves by one mistake or one failure? Unfortunately, we unconsciously do.
But what if Jake separated himself from the experience?
What if instead of saying, “I am heartbroken,” he said:
“Jake is heartbroken. But I am not Jake. I am just the observer of Jake’s experience.”
See the difference?
He’s detached from the emotional spiral.
- Instead of drowning in the feeling, he can analyze it.
- Instead of making impulsive decisions, he can choose his next move.
- Instead of being controlled by pain, he can redirect it.
The moment you observe yourself instead of identifying with your emotions, you regain control.
Ask yourself right now, what am I feeling? What do I feel like doing right now? Pause for a second. Is it really you or is it your body and your identity craving to execute on a task?
The moment you can interrupt your raw emotions of sadness, happiness, or even anger and bring it into a state of neutrality, you’ve discovered what’s called self awareness.
Self awareness comes from the ability of looking at ourselves from the third person point of view, otherwise known as The Observer’s POV.
Identity Is A Choice, Most Don’t Choose
Take a moment to audit your life.
How much money do you make?
What career or business do you operate in?
Who are the people in your social circle?
Who do you currently follow on social media?
5 years ago, did you consciously choose to be who you are today with the life you’re currently living?
Most likely not. It kind of just happened due to being on autopilot.
The only people who have purposely chosen this life for themselves, are those with an extremely high level of self awareness. They fall under the 15% of the population. This trait is common amongst leaders.
But you?
You simply became a product of your environment.
Successful people such as leaders, entrepreneurs, athletes, and high performers do something different.
They choose their identity. They define who they are before the world can do it for them. And because of that, they can change it at will.
This is the real power of Identity Shifting at the highest level.
If you’d like to learn more about it, check out Breaking the Box, my book showing you how I shifted my identity for personal success and how you can to.
How to Break Free (And Finally Change Your Life)
If you don’t step outside of your current identity, you will never escape the cycle of stagnation.
Here’s how you break the loop:
1. Question Everything
Most of the limitations in your mind were never yours to begin with.
These limitations are usually self imposed or learned fears that hold us back.
Everyone is born with the two innate fears of falling and loud sounds. The rest are learned from our environment like friends, family, teachers, and society itself. Experience shapes our fears as we get older.
Start challenging your own thoughts:
- “Why do I believe this?”
- “Is this actually true or just something I was taught?”
- “Who benefits from me thinking this way?”
2. Stop Saying “I Am” (Unless You Mean It)
Every time you say “I am,” you reinforce your current identity.
- “I am bad with money.” → You stay broke.
- “I am lazy.” → You never take action.
- “I am not confident.” → You stay stuck in self-doubt.
Learn to see the positives in the negatives of your mind.
- “I am learning how to make better financial decisions.”
- “I am developing discipline.”
- “I am building confidence every day.”
Your language shapes your identity.
Everyday, we are self affirming certain beliefs which reinforces an identity that doesn’t serve us.
So choose your words like your life depends on it, because it does.
3. Change Your Environment, Change Your Life
One of the hardest things to change is our environment, yet it’s also the one factor that influences our behaviors the most.
Your current reality is a direct reflection of your environment.
- If you’re surrounded by people who complain, you will complain.
- If you consume negative content, you will think negatively.
- If you spend time with people who are ahead of you, you will level up.
Change what you allow into your mind.
Audit your circle. Audit your content. Audit your thoughts.
4. Shift Your Identity Through Action
Most people try to change by thinking about change.
That’s why they stay stuck.
The fastest way to become someone new is to start acting like them before you feel ready.
- If you want to be disciplined, start doing disciplined things today.
- If you want to be successful, start operating like someone who is successful.
- If you want to be confident, start moving through the world as if you already are.
Your brain will resist it.
It will tell you “this isn’t you.”
But if you keep showing up as your future self, one day you’ll wake up and realize…
That YOU are that person now.
He’s inside of you, he’s just waiting for your permission to come out.
5. Master Awareness & Mindfulness (The Key to True Change)
Most people never change because they don’t even realize they’re trapped.
You’ve been running on autopilot your entire life.
- Wake up. Check your phone. Same dopamine hit.
- Go to work. Do what you’re told. Same routine.
- End the day. Numb yourself with distractions. Same cycle.
And it repeats. Over and over again.
But here’s the brutal truth:
You can’t change what you aren’t aware of.
If you don’t take back control of your own mind, then you’ll keep living the life the world has scripted for you.
How to Wake Up & Break the Cycle
Your consciousness (who you truly are) is separate from your identity (who you’ve been programmed to be).
Right now, your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors aren’t really yours.
They’re just a collection of habits and beliefs installed into you by your environment.
Think of your Identity as the programming in a computer or an app. That computer is only able to function at the maximum capabilities of its internal programming. Your consciousness is the person typing away at the keyboard and reading this right now. You can choose which software programming you’d like to download.
New Programs = New Capabilities = New Life
But how do you break free?
You train yourself to see the program.
- Meditation → Learn to observe your thoughts without reacting to them.
- Journaling → Write down your thoughts to separate yourself from them.
- Silence → Spend time alone without distractions to let your true self emerge.
Try this:
For 15 minutes a day, sit in silence.
- No phone.
- No music.
- No stimulation.
Just you and your thoughts.
At first, it’ll feel uncomfortable as hell.
Your mind will panic. You’ll feel restless. You’ll want to check your phone, move, do something.
But if you push through, something powerful happens.
You start to realize…
- You are not your thoughts.
- You are not your emotions.
- You are not your past, your failures, or your labels.
You are the observer behind all of it.
You are the master of your physical vessel.
And once you master the observer’s POV, you become unstoppable.
The Final Step: Make Decisions From Consciousness, Not Conditioning
Monkeys react to life.
Right now, you’re reacting to life.
You’re not a monkey. You have the ability to choose what to do without reacting.
Your emotions, your urges, your habits, they control you.
But when you step into awareness, you take control.
- You don’t let fear stop you, you see it for what it is and act anyway.
- You don’t fall into bad habits, you catch yourself before they happen.
- You don’t follow what society tells you to do, you create your own path.
This is how true identity shifting happens.
It’s not just about “thinking differently.”
It’s about reprogramming your entire system so that the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the person you become are fully yours.
The Final Decision You Need to Make
Right now, you’re at a crossroads.
Two versions of you exist in this moment:
- The version that closes this tab and keeps living on autopilot.
- The version that chooses awareness.
If you pick the first? Nothing changes.
But if you pick the second? You start the process of reclaiming your identity.
Not tomorrow. Not next year. Right now.
Because here’s the truth:
The life you want isn’t some grand event waiting to happen.
It’s a series of micro-decisions.
- You either pause before reacting or let your emotions control you.
- You either challenge your beliefs or blindly accept what you were given.
- You either observe your identity or stay shackled by it.
Everything comes down to one decision.
And that decision is happening right now.
You can’t see the impact of this moment yet.
But trust me, this is where change begins.